Bulgarian Dream Match-Up!

The oddest party leader to have come down the pike in a long, long time, he who is half-way between The Che and Adolf, as for his salute goes (throw in a bit of Il Duce, too) - he who is Volen, not Bolen... but still...  After his many misadventures which saw him throw sandwiches at waitresses, challenge all of Brussels (hey - he heard of the Belfast Bruiser so he wanted to be the Brussels Brawler?) and, finally (last night, in fact, on the shortest of flights there is: Sofia to Varna - 35 minutes - he managed to, once again, drink rakia and make trouble all at once - his brand of multi-tasking, see...?) callously invoke his status as Parliamentary in order to calumniate another passenger on-board that flight; one who couldn't speak Bulgarian to defend herself...! (He even stole her passport!) He topped his night by punching a police officer in uniform who had the misfortune of telling him (in Bulgarian!) that he was a moron! (So our sources say: and they are offnews.bg, so they know!) Well, after all that, the name that seems perfect for him is, indeed... the inedible, ignoble, gnomish for he is diminished... Ataka-Man!

Opposite him, who better than someone with verve and as virulent as that little man tries to be? Who better than someone who can take on all comers - and still ask for more in his spare time? Well, isn't there this charismatic Protestite leader (he who first said ''az stoya zad protestite!'' back in May... maybe!) hailing from the proverbial ''parts unknown'' and weighing in with... well, a few extra pounds than that dwarf named Volen, that is for sure! (We knew Huckepack, Purzelbaum and Rumplebold... but not ''Volen'' we must admit?)  Now, his faits d'armes are not as publicized as the former one's (soon, quite literally former... well, former everything that he allegedly is, really! But that is another story...) however, if one was to recount all the exploits of this luminous individual... well... it would fill-up at least one book... er, right?  For he craves vindication and justice (in reverse order, of course) and never backs down from anything! Perseverance and resilience - with luminescence from up above! That's *our guy* here! The clear-cut favourite in any altercation (whether with the aforementioned dwarf or any other violent dwarf there can be: from Gourgen to Toe-Ninny to countless others - they're as numerous as the pecks of sand, verily... But that's another story; from one (or many) of our other blogs out there...!) - for Ostavka-Man's uncanny powers of persuasion (which are, truly, powers of dissuasion) making them all abdicate, down to their knees full of (fake?) remorse... eventually! Thus, aye, the winner always is... the ubiquitous Ostavka-Man! (Which might still sound as sort of an oxymoron; but that's not the point!)

Hence, imagine it here and now: the battle of the decade... 

If not merely the day, indeed!

Aye, who better, as special celebrity guest-referee for this contest, than the one, the only Opera Man himself...?!? Volen's defeats are being recounted as libretto, anyway...

Alas, forces are conspiring to make this marquee match-up never happen: skinheads with political clout, baseball bats and balls-and-chains too (among other troglodytes) are waiting the green light to openly hunt down Ataka-Man on the streets of Sofia (for ''campaign promises gone unfulfilled'' allegedly: we've seen that before! Only, other -smarter- politicians don't make it possible for the outrage to degenerate into full-fledged, fist-pumping, hard-hitting backlash as this one has, with his succession of ridiculous very public meltdowns all over the place...!)

Meanwhile, Ostavka-Man has his own enemies: he knows them (he knows where they live!) and they know him (too) and both camps could (also) ''atacar'' at the slightest provocation (sort of like Ataka-Man; minus the demented, dejected outbursts when he's not being given what he thinks to be his due: still, as we've just stated, he's in line to get his due very shortly... For the commie family does not always protect their own: now, where Ostavka-Man comes from, it's totally the opposite! But they're not commies there, either...)

And what of Opera-Man in all this, you ask? He's just doing his best...

But that's another story...

OSTAVKA!!!

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